Where the hell have I been?!? While that is far from the first thought in your mind, I’m sure it’s something you wondered as you were reading your usual round of writer’s blogs. Even I’ve asked myself this question in the past few days.
It’s been a rough 8 days mentally for me and honestly I’ve wanted to do nothing, let alone write or blog. Without getting into specifics, an anticipated change with my job did not come through and soon my available free time will change drastically. In the big picture, it’s really not the end of the world, but it drove me into a pretty big funk that I’m just coming out of in the past two days.
I also saw during this time that I was putting pressure on myself to write. I was setting myself up to write and then not doing it. This pressure and setup was turning into anger and a feeling that I’m not cut out for a realistic run to make this something to do full-time one day.
So what am I doing here? Today is the first day that I actually feel up to writing in any capacity. I’m trying to not think about Suite101 or Spirit Hackers. Additionally, I realized a few days ago that there was a podcast I used to do that I miss doing. Yesterday I threw out a ‘signal’ of sorts to see if people even cared about a 18-month hiatus and I got a few responses right away. This tells me that I may revive my old show.
Beginning in February, I may have more time to work on my podcast but also get writing done with not feeling that pressure. We’ll see how that goes. I’m hoping to get some sort of writing done before then but if I don’t then I don’t.
I think I just had a slight mental breakdown. Plain and simple. I know I don’t need to apologize, but I want to say I’m sorry for not reading any other writing blogs or commenting and being a part of the community that’s graciously let me in. Thanks for your patience and I hope to get more writing done.
2009 isn’t starting as I had hoped but we’re only 16 days into the year. I think with 349 left, I’ll be fine!